happenings

So we have been busy. Real busy. Story of our lives. Despite all of the busyness, we have been able to plan two summer vacations. That gives some incentive to being busy - we have to work hard to pay for the vacations and when we finally get to go on vacation, all of that hard work will pay off. Joey and I are going to Playa with my brother and his wife in July and then we are taking the bunch to Destin in August. That's two very exciting things to look forward to. And, it gives me something to plan, a reason to budget and an excuse for buying new clothes.

Here are our latest happenings:

* The boys (Clayson, Trey, Matt and Joey) have been playing a lot of Yankee baseball. It's been such an exciting season. They have won all (13) games except one and we still have five to play. This seems to be the sport of choice for Clayson and Matt. Trey still wants to give middle school football a try but the other two are saying they don't want to play next year. As bad as I would love to see them play on a high school team, it's their choice to make. Maybe between now and August they will have a change of heart.

* The girls are just busy playing. Kayla is involved in karate and dance. Both girls are involved with friends. There are several girls in our neighborhood so Ashlyn and Kayla are here, there and everywhere when we have them. I am trying to teach Ashlyn the concept of coming in on time by the glow of the street light.

* Our garden is full of big, giant weeds but it is producing tomatoes, squash, radishes, jalapenos, onions and beans. My dad accidentally mowed over the watermelon and cantaloupe vines. Oopsie!

* The flower beds have gone to being a weed bed. I don't mind mowing all day long but I am not a weed puller. That makes me crazy. I'm looking for Round Up because I think the mulch will look better alone than with the grass growing in there. I never promised to be a landscaper/ gardener. Everyone will have clean clothes, clean dishes, dinner and a clean house but there will also be weeds among the flowers.

* Joey went to classes and became a certified open water scuba diver. He has been out of town quite a bit for work.  I have been taking baseball team pictures for local teams. Our schedule has not included much free time lately but we did manage to get away for several hours and take a Sunset Cruise on Lake Ray Hubbard. This settled us both down from being so wound tight. We still cherish our date nights and quality time together.


* We've had shrimp boils, four -wheeling afternoons, a movie and pizza night, we celebrated our moms for Mother's Day, hunted eggs for Easter and enjoyed other random outings. Wherever we are, whatever we do -it's always fun.



With summer on the horizon, we look forward to a lot more fun where this came from.

two years ago...

Some days it seems crazy that it's already been two years since our first date and other days it seems crazy that it's only been two years since our first date. As the old saying goes, "time flies when you are having fun". We can honestly find a lot of truth in that cliche.

Two years ago I was in an extreme condition - fighting many emotional battles, knowing that I had no choice but to get on with my life. I knew that more than anything I needed to find myself again. I didn't know what made me happy, I didn't know what it would take to make me find confidence in an uncertain future. I knew what I had always wanted but never had. I knew what I had hoped for but had given up on. I knew what obstacles had to be overcome but was not sure how. When life as you know it is completely turned upside down, all at once, nothing seems clear anymore.The crossroads become confusing but the journey is inevitable.

Joey was what I considered a "risky" relationship. I had to make a choice which direction to go because I wasn't good at playing two decks of cards. In one hand I had safety and in the other hand I found risk. I'm always up for a challenge so I chose to take the risk. After all, I wasn't looking to get serious, just wanted to have fun. He seemed nice enough, cool enough and funny enough to bring this fun into my life. (He was also very persistent.) It was like being in high school again but with grown up knowledge. I was being given a second chance at living a happy life and I have never looked back. Our relationship has become more than I ever dreamed of. (You know life is good when reality is finally better than your dreams.)


Two years ago today...
Saturday: May 1st, 2010 - all baseball games canceled. Yay! This meant that I could sleep in a bit and get back to the grind of packing and moving, which had become part of my daily routine. My mom, dad and grandparents all came over to help me try to find the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.
For the past month, Joey and I had been texting, talking and had even been seen in public together a few times (baseball games, Fat Dawgs, Braums) but tonight we were going to make it an official date, the kind where the boy picks the girl up and brings her home. (Home, by the way, would be at my mom and dad's house starting tonight.) Joey stopped by Saturday afternoon in the midst of blood, sweat and tears offering to help and bring me goodies (a refrigerator for my classroom, trash bags, and stickers for my students - all via Blockbuster clean out jobs). I was nervous for him to be there, around my family. I knew that this kind of change may be unwelcoming so I kept him at a distance (and outside). He graciously offered to help do anything that needed done. I just couldn't get past the "wall" that I was putting up. This wall was put up with the intentions of protecting my feelings and to prevent me from forgetting that I was ready to have fun, nothing more. He stuck around for a bit. When he left I told my Mamaw that we were going to be hanging out tonight and she said, "you just got rid of one". Ha! I would not have expected any other reaction. The day drug on with no end in sight. I finally just quit so that I could get ready for the night.

A friend was having a birthday party at one of her friend's houses. Thank goodness the forecasted rain stayed away and that the party wasn't canceled. Joey picked me up about 7:00 and we headed to Crandall. It had been many years since either of us had been on a date. I think we were both nervous and excited. He wouldn't know anyone at the party and I was looking forward to him meeting many of my friends.

We got there, got some crazy glances (some did not even know I was divorced). Joey fit right in and was probably more comfortable than I was. (Talk about me going from one extreme to the other - the ex never talked to anyone or even tried to have fun. Joey tends to bring the fun.) By the end of the night I could feel my "wall" slowly losing strength. I wanted to have fun and he was definitely someone that I could have fun with. Later I told him that he had gotten "two thumbs up" from all the friends. He said, that's cool, but what about you? That's what really matters. My response - of course I like you.

So, this is where our journey began. Two years later we are still deeply in love,  we still have so much fun together, love to spend time together and get along as best friends/ people in love should. Our future is as bright as our past and we look forward to making many more great memories together and together with our kids. Within the past six months we have learned how to function as a family with five kids and we enjoy every minute. He makes me happier than I have ever been, my kids love him and laugh at him and I will always be thankful for the broken roads that led us to each other. Many people thought it was crazy, that we were complete opposites and that it wouldn't last. But, we couldn't be more perfect for each other and by keeping it real, keeping it simple and keeping it fun - we've built a relationship made to last.

I'll end by saying thank you to Joey for allowing me to get on with my life, making me happy, building my confidence in the future, being all I had ever hoped of having, helping me to overcome many obstacles and turning my world right side up. We are right where we need to be with an amazing past and a promising future. I love you, Joey Smith!

brought to you by the letter B

This blog is brought to you by the letter "B".

B is for bunch.

Every other weekend, we have our kiddos from Wednesday until Monday. Wednesdays are usually situational, getting everyone back in the groove. Thursday nights are filled with baseball and soccer practice. This has normally been our family game night but with two practices sneaking into the schedule, this may need to be moved to Wednesdays. Our current favorites are Farkle (a dice game) and dance off (random music and random dancing around the living room). Friday nights, there is no agenda to follow. It's sometimes nice to grab dinner and find an activity that everyone enjoys but with the start up of 8:00 Saturday morning baseball practices, I have a feeling this may turn into another semi-early night. That's okay with me, by this time I can barely function and the kids are tired, too. Saturdays include the early baseball practice and Ashlyn's soccer games. It is so great to have all three boys on the same baseball team and even better that Joey is the coach. I let him run the morning show while the girls and I get our beauty sleep. Sundays are currently becoming 'Sunday Fundays'. The only requirement is that everyone is in bed by 10:00. Usually, that is not a problem. -we have worn ourselves out by then.

When there are this many involved, it's trial and error, go with the flow, be spontaneous and don't sweat the small stuff. I like to plan and organize but I have also learned that it is okay to venture away from routine, and that is just keepin' it real.

B is for bowling.

A couple of weekends ago, we went to Ennis for bowling and pizza. I have to share our good deals with you because when you take this many out to entertain, B for budgeting, is a must. Pizza Hut offers box meals for $9.99 - this includes a large rectangle pizza, 5 breadsticks and 5 cinnamon sticks. We ordered two of these and had leftovers. Pizza Hut total for seven = $26. From there we went to the bowling alley. They had a special that we could play until 1:00am closing for $50 and this included shoes. We had two lanes for four hours. The girls were on one lane with bumpers and, because I am competitive, I played with the guys. By the end of the night, Ashlyn was sound asleep across two chairs and the boys were playing in her place- the bumpers gave them self-confidence. Most of them crashed out on the way home. We were excited about all of the fun that we had, especially the kids, and the fact that it only cost us $80. I am all about having fun and saving money. If only I could learn to be a couponer...

B is for baseball.

I have already mentioned the boys and their baseball but this baseball pertains to our most recent outing. Sunday morning, Joey cooked breakfast, we ate and then we all got busy doing different things. The girls printed off smoothie recipes and made them (they were good), Joey and I worked on organizing the garage, Clayson and Matt milled around - hoping not to be asked to do anything and Trey was with Mimi and Pawpaw. Around 4:15, we halted all activities, walked away from messes and loaded up in the vehicles for some family and friends baseball. We went up to the ball field for two hours of fun. The girls enjoyed batting, the boys, Joey, Billy, Lisa and I got in a little fielding and batting while my dad was the all-time pitcher. We had so much fun! It was great exercise for the grown ups, big fun for the kids and great bonding for the family.


Back at the house, we showered, chowed on some ramen noodles/ frozen pizza/ leftover Genghis Grill and played our third game of Farkle.

B is for blessed.

away we went

The only thing I can compare this entry to is The Notebook. My blog is my online diary for clinging onto detailed memories of our life. Read at your own will:)

For Christmas, along with my heart necklace, Joey told me that I could choose anywhere that I wanted to go for a weekend retreat. Since I love to plan (and I love to travel with him), I ran with this idea. My first stop was the calendar. The weekend was going to need to be planned around two things - hunting weekends and our weekends with the kids. The more I thought about dates, I came up with the notion that it would be sweet to combine this gift with Valentine's Day. After choosing the dates, the next stop was to get approval from my principal to take a Monday off. (I had to wait a week until we went back to school to get this. And, for those that know me, I am not a patient planner.) I chose these days because I found it to be much more affordable to stay on a Saturday/ Sunday night vs. a Friday/ Saturday. After the final approval to get a sub, tne next stop was finding the "perfect" location. I had one requirement - a fireplace. My favorite place that we have been to so far is Granbury and I would have loved to have gone back, but there is something adventurous about going somewhere new. After facebook status "polls", I decided on Fredricksburg. (I had to resort to the opinions of friends because Joey is sweet enough to always say - wherever you want to go is fine with me. He has some input but his main concern is always wanting me to be happy. How did I ever get so lucky?!) Thanks to absolutecharm.com, I found a bed & breakfast that looked and sounded like a fabulous place to retreat to...

Our adventure goes a little something like this...

Saturday, February 11th: We left around 11:15, just an hour later than "planned". Our first stop was for food, thirty minutes down the road. After that, it was nothing but highway for the next three and a half hours. I have to say, one of my favorite parts of any trip with Joey is our time cooped up in the car. "Are we there yet?" never even crosses my mind. I love the time that we have to just sit and talk about everything - it's this communication that continues to strengthen our relationship and the strong bond that we have between us. The conversation, no matter what the topic, is always lighthearted because of his sense of humor. There's always laughter and a million smiles between us. When I get old and have laugh lines, they will be the story of our relationship.

We made it to Fredricksburg, starving, around 4:30. I had a bucket list of things I wanted to do, well, eat, on this trip: pizza, candy apples, homemade ice cream and peach cobbler. (Granted, the last three came to me after passing signs advertising these gourmet items.) We crossed one thing off quickly with Mr. Gatti's pizza. Buffet heaven. From here, we went to Walmart because both of us forgot our toothbrushes. Yikes. Finally, we headed 15 miles to our b&b. It was a quaint little room with a jacuzzi tub and a fireplace. Perfect! We unloaded, read the guest book and headed back into town for some nightly entertainment. I had spotted a saloon with live music and dancing, that sounded like fun to me. We went in, looked around and quickly realized that it wasn't like the saloon that we are used to - down home country music with a big dance floor. Instead, it was a steak and shrimp restaurant with a bar area that didn't have much room for cuttin' the rug. We left there and went to the Rockbox Theater. This place had gotten rave reviews and the brochures were at every stop. We got there and got tickets 45 minutes prior to showtime. I enjoyed the complimentary chocolate covered strawberries (both of ours), Joey purchased a $2.00 can coke and we waited. The larger the crowd grew, the quicker we realized that we were the youngest ones there. Anyone young that came in (maybe four others) must've been with their grandparents. It was too late to change our minds, so we stayed ... and listened to a gig just like any you may find in Branson. There were love songs from the 50s and 60s, three cowboy brothers with striped pants, handlebar mustaches, tall cowboy hats and pants tucked into cowboy boots singing old western tunes (maily ones that they had written). Intermission came and we were the only ones to break out our cell phones. The rest just sat there and anxiously awaited the second half. We chose to Facebook, take pictures of ourselves and search Craigslist. Two hours and ten minutes after it started, it was finally over. The highlight of our night was deer spotting on the way back, we saw a field full of deer and some bedded down in yards. My spotting skills are sharpening up. Back in the room, we started a fire and turned the heater down low.

Sunday, February 12th: We woke up to a burned out fire and sleet. It was cold. The continental breakfast - breakfast burritos and fruit were good enough to get us ready and on the road back to town for a day full of  'where to go and what to do' decisions. Our bed and breakfast was located in Stonewall, which was 17 miles from Fredricksburg. We slid into Mamacita's mexican restaurant for lunch and then went and enjoyed some shopping. It's always fun to look at all of the overpriced items and get ideas. I had three missions.My first mission was to get a Fredricksburg Christmas ornament. There were none in the Christmas store, dadgum. Second mission was to get Joey's picture with the big M&M (because of an inside joke with the Superbowl commercial to the tune of  'I'm Sexy and I Know It'). That happened. Third, I thought surely the fudge and candy shop would have the candy apple I was craving. Not so much. Instead, they had chocolate covered pickles, bacon and jalapenos. One out of three missions accomplished wasn't a complete fail.

From the downtown shopping area, we got back on the road with no destination in mind,  until we decided to visit the Enchanted Rock. This was a 30 minute trek up and around cliffs - in the rain and sleet (thankfully, it was not sticking). We saw huge deer along the way that were first thought to be elk but turned out to possibly be red stag and groups of smaller deer - white tail and black bucks (for all of you hunters out there). This was the 'scenic route' for Joey. Since Enchanted Rock is a state park, we had to pay to get in. I could've just enjoyed the view but he wanted to drive around. It wasn't until after he paid that he learned there are only 2 very short roads and both lead you to the trails. What's not to love about hiking trails and rock climbing in 20 degree/ wet weather? (I'll tell you what is to love - him reaching out his hand to help me or to hold up low limbs for me to get under. He's so awesome.) It turned out to be fun and memorable as we watched for each other's cautious footing and leaping from one rock to the next. I was, of course, glad to find several flat enough rocks to set the camera and it's self-timer to capture a few memories throughout the adventure. After the adventurous day of braving the cold, sleet and rain we made another quick stop at Walmart for snacks and cokes. We ended up having dinner in the next town ... at Dairy Queen. Apparently, everything good shuts down on a Sunday night in a tourist town. We went deer scouting again, not seeing as many, and then back to the room to unwind by the fire.

Monday, February 13th: Check-out time was 11:00 so we didn't have to be in a big rush. Joey enjoyed the egg casserole and fruit and I enjoyed the Chips Ahoy from Walmart. With the bags packed and the car loaded, we hit the road home around 10:30. I wanted to take a different route back home and go through Austin rather than Marble Falls. We wound our way around the drought stricken Lake Travis and then found the State Capitol. We took ourselves on a tour, which both of us remembered doing as young kids, and enjoyed a little Texas history. The older you get, the more you appreciate the history. I was hoping to catch Rick Perry on the fly but he was nowhere in sight. From here, we stopped in Round Rock for lunch at Salt Grass, the Czech Stop in West for dessert and our final destination was home.

It was such a fun trip and just what we needed. There's nothing better than roadtrips with my love. We never fight, fuss or argue - only play, tease and laugh. We truly enjoy going everywhere and doing everything together.

Happy Valentine's Day to us. The memories will be cherished in our hearts forever. And as the sign in our bathroom read, it's never too late to live happily ever after.

days gone by

Whoa!A month and a half has gone by since my last entry. Many exciting things have happened since then. (Well, I consider it exciting that deer season is over. Joey, not so much.) We celebrated Christmas and New Year's. We went deer hunting, baseball season has "unofficially" started and hunting season has "officially" ended. Life has been too busy to stop and blog. But, hey, that's a good thing. So, here is the past month and a half - in a nutshell.

*Christmas
Christmas was good for all of us. It wasn't as "normal" as I would have liked (only having my kids for a couple of hours) but we made the best of the situation and will look forward to this Christmas when all will be right in our little world. We celebrated early, late and enjoyed all of the time inbetween.

*New Year's
Joey and I went out to dinner on New Year's Eve with Jason and Megan (my brother and sister-in-law). That is always a good time and with Joey, you never know what to expect. He entertained us throughout dinner. After dinner, we went to hang out with friends, mainly just so we would stay up until midnight. (They say what you are doing at midnight on New Year's Eve is what you will spend the rest of the year doing. Last year we were on the road (dodging deer) and Joey spent a lot of time out of town for work (and hunting) throughout the year.This year we were with friends and other random people, we'll see how that works out.)

We enjoyed a New Year's Day lunch at mom and dad's with  Clayson, Trey, Ashlyn and Kayla and the fam. We all ate some black-eyed-peas for good measure. Joey wasn't feeling too hot, but we'll just leave it at that.

We started the year off right - with family, friends and each other. I'm hoping for great things to happen in 2012.

*Deer Lease
We spent a weekend in January at the deer lease. But, it wasn't just a typical hunting weekend. We brought my dad, Clayson and Trey along with us. They are all avid deer hunters, but never with me. It was my first time ever to hunt with my boys so I was excited about the adventure. (Truly, this is a blog in and of itself that has been started on paper but never transferred to this blog site. Hopefully soon with the pictures included.) It was a fun-filled weekend- full of memories, but no deer. (Clayson blames his missed opportunity on me for being "too loud". Um, if me turning my head is loud - this is not the "sport" for me. I can't sit THAT still or be THAT quiet.) We left for this trip on Friday afternoon and came home on Sunday evening with two trucks loaded down (with kids and supplies), bags full of laundry (not sure how when most of them chose to wear the same clothes for three days), all dirty and exhausted. It was one of those trips that we will never forget.

*Baseball
It's "unofficially" baseball season. All it took was the association meting to get Joey swinging on his coaching plans for the upcoming season. Due to numbers, he combined kids from three of our local teams to create his team for the year, three of the players are our own. Life is gonna be so much easier having Clayson, Trey and Matt on the same team. One practice schedule and one game schedule. One is way better than three. The calendar won't be near as colorful this spring. (We will be busy when it comes to my photography business - picking up teams from the three leagues from t-ball up to 14 years old. Joey says that he will help me. I wonder if he can edit...)

So, it's been busy. Seems like Christmas was ages ago. We move from one thing to another and there is NEVER a dull moment :)

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Here is our Christmas card and letter for 2011.

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas! We hope this letter finds you enjoying the season and making memories with family and friends.

For us, this has been a big year. We've made big changes. We've carried out big plans. We've taken big vacations. (In our "bunch" there are six kids ranging from 8 years to 19 years old. So, when there are 7-10 people in your group at all times, nothing is ever small.)

Around the first of November, Joey and I made a life changing decision, one that was discussed and thoroughly thought out as to what would be best for us and the many young lives involved. We decided to merge my household into his. So, the entire month of November was spent rearragnging, reorganizing, replacing, redistributing, repainting and rethinking. His house became a six bedroom home overnight. (Well, not overnight, but in a hurry.) It's nice to be settled in a place where we can all enjoy being together all of the time.

After all of the craziness in November, we are truly enjoying December. It's been fun creating new traditions: the decorating, the shopping, the wrapping and the excitement, all under one roof. Most of the time we have a full house and those are the days and nights that we enjoy most.

The Earth may have just four seasons but our seasons included: karate, basketball, baseball/softball, summer vacation, football season and deer season. And seven months out of the year we celebrate birthdays. There 's always something to look forward to and events to plan.

Between the kids' sports, various activities, (and birthdays), we still managed to find time to get away with all of the kids. We set up camp twice. On Spring Break we spent a few nights in Glen Rose with friends. Here we enjoyed Big Rock Park across the street from our campsite, a one mile trek down the river and through the mud; Dinosaur Valley State Park where we thought we lost a kid and some truck keys in the river, took a four hour hike on the trails (only getting lost and for a very long time); and lost sleep the last night thanks to an all night long fiesta going on in another tent area. Our second camping trip was at Lake Whitney with just us and the five kids. We took the boat on this tip so we enjoyed time in the water - cliff jumping, swimming and a late night fishing trip. (We did lose a couple of kids on this trip when they thought their route back to camp was shorter. No worries, they eventually showed back up.) The late night fishing trip became even later when we realized that I had left the truck keys back in the tent and we couldn't load the boat on the trailer without them. All of the kids slept on the boat (except the one that got sick) while Joey made the long hike to camp and back. (Not sure what it is about kids, keys and camping.) Nevertheless, both trips were fun and broke me in to the "great outdoors" a little more. Our big "family" summer vacation was a trip to Panama City, Florida in a rental van. The bunch went coastal. It was a great time there spent with the kids and friends - on the beach, snorkeling, riding the waves, dodging the seaweed, multiple trips to the grocery store and souvenir shops, riding the go-carts and sending the boys crabbing with the kids at night. It was definitely an exciting and memorable trip from start to finish.

And then there were several mini-getaways that Joey and I enjoyed throughout the year. We made a day trip to Galveston, enjoying dessert on the beach. (It was a work trip for him, a road trip for me.) We spent a weekend going to San Angelo to pick up a boat and spent the night near the deer lease. We took a quick trip to San Antonio for a couple of days to unwind before the new school year started - walking along the Riverwalk, remembering the Alamo, taking a haunted tour through the wax museum and stopping in Gruene to enjoy the river and shops on our way home. Our big vacation was four days in Cozumel. We enjoyed the beauty, the beach, the buffets, the market shops, and touring the island in our rental jeep; the security guards coming in during the middle of the night and the rain - not so much. Our past year and a half together has been amazing and we have found complete happiness. We made the most of our time together and our time with the kids all year long.

As life is rolling along, we have definitely learned to go with the flow, take things one day at a time and to live each day to the fullest. We know that above everything else, time spent together is time well spent. May you find time together this Christmas season and all throughout the year. Make big plans and create big dreams with those you love most.

With love from our bunch to yours,

Joey and Stephanie

a date to remember

December 24th and 25th are typically the days celebrated with family. For all of my kids' lives -which began 14 years ago- we have celebrated traditionally. We'd open some gifts on Christmas Eve (mainly because I was as anxious to give as they were to receive) and Santa came Christmas morning and we finished opening the gifts under the tree.

This year, that tradition had to change due to circumstances. I have the kids every other year on Christmas and Christmas Eve. Last year was my year, this year is their dad's year. In many ways, I tried to share last year so they could have time with their dad. This year, I am not getting much of that same respect in return. To avoid any personal grievances, I'll just say that I feel blessed to get them for two hours on Christmas day. That's better than what it could've been and more time than I was told a couple of weeks ago.

A couple of weekends ago I struggled with all of the texts being sent back and forth, realizing that there did not seem to be any chance of having my kids at all for Christmas. It was hard and it was emotional - for me, for the kids, for my family. After finally coming to terms with it and knowing that for my kids' sake and their happiness, I had to make the best of the time given. As a mom, it's my job to make it a Merry Christmas for them no matter when it's celebrated. Joey and I made plans to celebrate with them the weekend before Christmas. I told my mom, not only to try and convince her but to also convince myself, it's just a date. And, in all actuality we can celebrate it any date that we choose. With this inevitable circumstance comes flexibility and change- both of which tend to be my weakest qualities.

On December 19th my kids and I celebrated their Christmas with Joey, my parents, my brother and his wife at our house. We had pizza, snacks and coffee which made for a fun and spontaneous get together. Clayson, Trey and Ashlyn were more than satisfied to get these gifts that they'd been eyeing under the tree for weeks, a week early.

There's always such a joy that can be seen in the eyes of a child as they open each present. I saw that same joy on December 19th (instead of December 25th). I got to see the anxiousness and gratitude as they played with and enjoyed what they had been given. Christmas is a season. As a mom, it's very hard to stay strong when I know that this year will not be spent with my kids traditionally. But, I am thankful for December 19th and the joy it brought into our home. It was definitely a Merry Christmas.

Don't take things, traditions or people for granted. Times change. But, in the end, it's just a date- you choose when to celebrate the birth of Jesus and spend time with those you love most.

Merry Christmas to you all.